Wherever and whenever, Jews were always known to be at the head spear with the Mitzvah of Hospitality. Not only as a one-time act, but also with continuous functioning systems to welcome any guest in town, and attend to his needs. Even more so if the newcomers expressed their interest in linking on to the local Jewish community.
The main obstacles in fulfilling the commandment of hospitality stem from the cultural gap and the different purposes of the two sides of this ‘meeting’, the host and the guest.
Baruch HaShem, we are fortunate to have a large group of newcomers in town. Therefore I think it is a good time to shake the dust from this Mitzvah, to make sure we’re doing it properly according to the Jewish Hallacha and with the right adjustments to our unique time and place.
A practical guide for hospitality, Atlantic Canada, 5773 from the creation of the world:
- Who is considered a guest, for the purpose of the Mitzvah?
Initially, the purpose of the Mitzvah was to tend for poor people that needed “bread to eat and a bed to lay their heads on” (Shulchan Aruch, Or”ch, 333,1). Specifically here, in our case and in our community, the support needed is more of a mental kind. Whereas a person might be settled with assets, he can still be socially and mentally poor. As Maimonides says (Quoting Aristotle) ‘humans are social and political creatures’. As such, they have also social and political needs. These needs too, need attendance. - Shouldn’t they do the ‘first step’, show themselves in Shul etc. and then we will invite them over?
“They” already have tried to approach you more than once in the last three years. As mentioned in the opening, there is a bit of a cultural gap, so for some reasons the ‘first approaches’ were missed. The good news is that it is yet not too late. Many of who I occasionally met, are still eager to get to know the local Jewish community.
Regardless to the above, I would like to refer also to our forefather Avraham (B’reshit 18,1-8) : Three days after Avraham was circumcised (at the age of 99), sick and hurt, he was slowly healing from the operation. His home back then was in a hot desert. Avraham was sitting at the entrance of his tent catching the breeze when he saw three people wandering around. The Torah tells us in detail how Avraham runs toward his treasure; his guests. Forgetting his poor health condition, he runs and together with his wife Sarah, they prepare a feast fit for kings… Sarah and Avraham made sure their guest feel welcomed, without waiting for any first step. They are our example. - I tried to talk, invite, encourage and more, but it’s stuck. Maybe they’re just not interested!? It is not proper for me to ‘overdo’.
They are interested. Ask your parents / grandparents, how they felt when they immigrated to this foreign country! For most of the newcomers that we are blessed with here, it is already the second time (Soviet union-Israel-Canada) they need to adjust to: Language, culture, economy, employer-employee relations, schools..
Interesting point: when Eliezer, Avraham’s servant is sent to choose a bride for his master’s son, Yitzchak, one might have assumed he would look for someone in that pagan world who made the extra step like Avraham and his household; someone who would realize there must be something very wrong, even corrupt in worshipping idols! But no. That is not what Eliezer seeks for Avraham’s son. He knows to look for something characteristically basic in human behaviour. He seeks for hospitality. Ideas and ideology can be taught, but good traits are harder to find and to become intrinsic to one’s nature. Rivka is recognized to be suitable for the match, for being a Jewish mother, Foremother of Israel, wife to Yitschak, because she offers herself to quench the thirst of Eliezer and of his camels. More than that, she performs this noble yet exhausting deed with a smiling face (B’reshit 24). Rivka overdid – we can also do the same. - Few practical steps to start with:
- There is nothing more Jewish than inviting a guest for a Shabbat meal. Whereas Shul is like a semi Beth Mikdash, a table with guests is considered as the altar itself (Babylonian Talmud Hagiga 27,2).
- Don’t ask about: reasons for immigrating, working place and whether he’s here permanently or just on the way to Toronto. It might not be easy for him to talk about it (Avot, Ethics of our fathers 2,4).
- Don’t be judgmental. You are there to help a Jew at need. The supreme Judge of the universe, God Himself, is the only One responsible for measuring people.
- Don’t patronize. Don’t shoot advice and suggestions at the newcomer, before listening to his real needs. They know how they want to live their lives and how to practice their Judaism. If you are eager to pass on information, start with technical issues: Where is best place to shop, important phone numbers, family doctor, Avia’s Gma”ch of free furniture etc. (Isaiah 42,1-3).
- Everything you do – do with a smile! (Babylonian Talmud, Baba Metzia 59,2)
